You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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