Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
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he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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