i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
