Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
