I need help removing her.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
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Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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