yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
