I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
