we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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