these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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