I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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