then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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