You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
