i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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