i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
