Sry I called you an 8
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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