When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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