Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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