be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
