**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
