He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I puked a lego.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
