You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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