I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
