So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
