I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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