Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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