I wish i was in the wii world.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
