How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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