i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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