I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize