first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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