I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
