Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize