If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
where am i from again
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
