How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize