guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
