I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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