OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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