I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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