He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
