My sheets look like a crime scene.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize