I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
