Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
