Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
