I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
