i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
His hands were made for my vagina.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
