i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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