yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
