I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
