I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
