If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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