Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
