I like to think it a success when the cops are called
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
