oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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