Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I did not marry a roomba.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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