Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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