yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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