dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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