She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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